VIEW POSSIBLE TOP 5 FINISHERS

WEEK 3: COLTRANE STEALS THE SHOW

Coltrane absolutely detonated this week, putting up a pool-best 101 points and launching himself 54 spots up the cumulative standings. That's not a move up the standings — that's a hostile takeover.

Coltrane went from 68th to 14th overall, proving that apparently the best strategy is to spend most of the season lurking in the weeds before deciding, "You know what? I'm going to score 101 this week."

Right behind him was Bank Shots with 95, while SwifTDs dropped 92. IceMan (89) and BIG BAD JOHN (86) rounded out the top five weekly scores.

BIGGEST MOVERS

COLTRANE: +54 The undisputed Move of the Week. 101 points + 54 spots = absolute carnage. Coltrane didn't just climb the standings. He climbed over 54 people who are now wondering what the hell happened.

BANK SHOTS: +44 Bank Shots followed up a monster 95-point week with a 44-position leap, moving all the way to 22nd overall. Apparently the money finally hit the account.

SWIFTDs: +37 A 92-point week produced a 37-place jump to 19th. Swift by name. Swift by standings movement.

LITTLEBEAR: +26 84 points and a 26-place climb. LittleBear is no longer little in the standings.

BIG BAD JOHN: +25 86 points and a 25-place surge. BIG BAD JOHN is living up to the capitalization.

PAPA13: +23 83 points and a 23-position climb. Papa has apparently decided the children can fend for themselves.

BROTHERLY HATE: -54 Brotherly Hate got absolutely obliterated. A 0-point week and a 54-position collapse is the kind of performance that gets discussed at Thanksgiving.

JERRYBABY: -40 Jerrybaby went from 7th to 47th. That's not a bad week. That's a change of zip code.

DIRTY DEEDS: -36 Dirty Deeds dropped 36 spots, apparently proving that sometimes the deed is not done.

PRIMETIMES: -32 Primetime became... less prime.

BIGREDWES: -28 Bigredwes continues the trend of making the name look significantly more optimistic than the standings.

SCHLITZ7: -27 A 27-place drop. Somebody might want to check whether Schlitz7 accidentally submitted someone else's picks.

THE CUMULATIVE RACE Despite all the Week 16 chaos, Ex-Commish remains the man to catch.

1. EX-COMMISH — 294 Still sitting on top of the mountain. Ex-Commish added enough to hold off ThePantsShitters, although the lead is only 2 points. The former commissioner continues to demonstrate the most dangerous skill in fantasy sports: being annoyingly good at something you desperately want to make fun of.

2. THEPANTSSHITTERS — 292 Still right there. Two points back. One bad week and the pants may be hitting the floor.

3. ICEMAN — 286 +16 positions and now sitting alone in third. IceMan's 89-point Week 16 was exactly what a contender needed. The gap to second is only six points, and the gap to first is eight.

4. BOILERMAKERS — 278 Quietly hanging around the top four.

5. VEGAS MONEY LINE — 278 The name suggests certainty. The standings suggest that Vegas may have finally gotten something right.

6. GYRO WARRIOR — 278 Three teams are tied at 278, creating a nice little traffic jam at the top.